This Lent, i decided that instead of sacrificing something tangible, I'd pray for someone else every day instead, or rather offer up a prayer for someone other than myself, and keep whatever petitions I had for myself to a minimal. Got the idea when I was trying to figure out how I could help Aunty Julie so many miles away, and I guess the only way was prayer. It's not been easy though - some nights, I fall asleep after an exhausting day, and some nights, even after a not-so-exhausting day, I give in to the temptation of rest. But for the times that I did remember, I felt peace. In a way, it was like putting whatever I was feeling or going through in perspective. It reminded me that the people I love were struggling in their own ways just like I was and putting others before me, was altogether humbling. 

I feel like it's been a test in some way. The past few weeks, I've doubted myself, fleetingly doubted my faith in moments of rashness, and I felt like my vision was clouded by my insecurities. Yet, after that, I've had to prove to myself, my trust in God's plan for me. It's hard always having to remind myself and to keep believing in it, especially at times when all I feel is that I'm lost. Part of me felt horrible and angry at myself because I seemed unable to count my blessings and be content when compared to most people, i have so so much. Feeling that has made me search for comfort and hope and an assurance only I can give myself through prayer. I thank God for the wonderful people surrounding me in my life, especially those that constantly support me and the angels that I have as parents who guide me, lift me up and see in me so much more than i can imagine is visible. 

As Holy Week is approaching, I hope to continue praying for others and finding strength for myself, which I think I already am. Being a part of YC also offered me a way to contribute in church and I can't help but feel that I'm ready to grow up :')

Have a good Holy Week my Catholic friends!