Things are quite intense now. exams coming up in about a month and a little over & i definitely feel the pressure to do well. Really wanna get on exchange and now as people are talking about it, all I feel is worry that I may not qualify & the thought is disheartening and to some extent scary. Ugh. Well, just gotta be focused and trust in God to take me through. After all, as I've been constantly reminded, that things happen for a reason & even though there may be some things I won't be able to understand, I will be able to accept with faith.

R is leaving for Brunei on Friday, instead of the 21 days he was supposed to be away for nearing my exams, since he's in Artillery now. In a way, its a good thing because I can dedicate the next 2 weekends to studying, but then again, I'm kinda dreading it too. Am quite glad he'll be here during my exams on hindsight, mainly because he always gives me a different perspective to the stress that I am facing. Sometimes it's rather frustrating because he always appears to be so chill, but for a freak-out such as myself, I'd need someone like him to calm me down & trust me he's done it quite a bit (especially during Mallals) heh.

Also, during the last week, i've realised what a roller coaster feelings could actually be. I mean throw in stress & PMS and you've got a garden of roses. Never have I had to really reflect on my actions and reactions and never have I felt such regret/misery over something so small mainly because of how it could have affected him. I guess I'm not the most selfless person out there, and what happened made me think alot about that. Saying sorry and apologizing is definitely not my cup of tea. Yet, even though it sucked at that point in time, it was a humbling experience. There is someone else important in my life now, that I have to consider when I make big decisions to the very small reactions. It's weird, in a nice sort of way.

3 months tomorrow - Thank you <3 p="">