I wish i had been born naturally skinny. I wish i had enough confidence in myself to always feel beautiful - but the truth is, i don't. Andrew tries his best, he always makes me feel so loved just the way i am. Stepping outside that bubble though, i know that i am objectively probably embarrassing the way that I am now and I need to do something about it. I just feel absolutely crushed, again. Have not broken down like this since that time (at the start of this year i think). I am overly-sensitive and overly self-conscious and i don't know what to do about it except to wallow in self-pity. Thinking about having to meet people and going out and going to school is giving me anxiety because with this knowledge, I can't walk in confidence any longer. 

That aside, the exercising and dieting begins now.